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Practical tools for mastering self fulfilment in motherhood.

There is no doubt that motherhood can be difficult. Maslow's theory places self-realization as the pinnacle of all human needs, that is, the internal satisfaction of our achievements can only come when all other needs are met.

Being able to feel satisfied with your hopes and aspirations is vital to inner happiness. Many mothers feel fulfilled when they see their children grow up empowered, loving and caring.

Although children are a joy, they come with challenges - from hours to illness, to lack of sleep, and the day-to-day school activities.

Sometimes, the frustration and challenges of life are enough to make mothers feel overwhelmed - and this gets in the way of self-fulfilment.

One of the best ways to flourish is to develop self-awareness - it's the ability to become aware of your thoughts, moods or behaviour.

The following guides will help you develop the skill of self-awareness, and attain self-actualization:

  • Notice your moods. Take care of your feelings and mood every day, and identify what makes you smile or frown.

  • Know that you alone control your moods. Once you recognise your feelings, you can create the life you desire.

  • Listen to your inner voice. You have to tune out the voice that encourages self negative talk.

  • Pay attention to the one that says positive things about you. That voice can put you up and raise your spirit.

  • Have quiet time. Everyone needs time to get back on their feet.

  • Set goals for yourself. Set realistic goals for yourself, allowing you to recognize change and progress. Look into your life and write down the ways you want it to change. For example, one of the most challenging moments for moms is how to balance careers with their new role of parenting. Find out where you’re doing well and where you’re underperforming. Find out what is missing and what exactly you would like to improve - ask for feedback from those around you to help.

  • Reflect on the life before kids. Think of things that gave you joy before kids; this could be a hobby, a side business, or another interest. Think about those things you will want to continue. Consider how you can incorporate them into your current life. Perhaps take the time to hike each weekend with your children - this allows you to enjoy a hobby while still in “parent” mode!

  • Take action. Now, you have spent enough time on the root cause of your dissatisfaction. The next step is to put an action plan on it.

Address one main point at a time and observe results.

Start a gratitude journal.

Write something about yourself, your children, spouse or family each day to remind you of what you should be thankful for.

Give yourself time. Relax when the kids are sleeping, food is prepared, and all chores are complete.

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