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Writer's pictureKeji Moses

Saying No: An Act of Self-Love

One of the foundations of self-love is having boundaries. Your ability to say “no” is often an indicator of how well you’re loving yourself. Saying no can be difficult, especially when we feel compelled to please others and put ourselves at a disadvantage. We transfer our personal power in return for acceptance. But when we feel powerless, we renounce our free will, our gift from God. So, for example, let’s say you’re asked to do something, and deep in your heart you want to say NO. But you respect the person making the request, so you say Yes. You let them influence you and give up your power to choose that which is best for you. However, there will be situations when you’re incapable of doing something or lack the skill to complete a task, and the only right response will be No. It’s far more honourable to do what’s best for you instead of making a commitment which, if not realized, will lead to disappointment.


When you feel compelled to do something and follow rather than be honest about your limits, you dishonour yourself. Sometimes we do that simply because we lack the courage to say no. Saying No is not a foreign language. Rather, it’s an act of love, because when you love yourself, you honour yourself. You stand in your truth and step away from becoming attached to serving the will of someone else whilst ignoring yours. There are also situations in which saying no is the result of fear. The opportunity is good, the universe has aligned in your favour, and yet you are stuck in a place of No or you make excuses because you’re afraid of the unknown. It’s critical to identify the difference to avoid being manipulated.


You can develop your personal power by becoming self-aware. The better you know yourself, the better you honour yourself. If you lead a dishonourable life, the consequences can impact various aspects of your life. Dig deep into your heart and let your yes's and no’s align with your truth. A double-minded person is unstable on every level.

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